Showing posts tagged quotes
AKPOR AND THE MOTHER
Akpos stumbled upon his parents in bed
making love,
so he asked
"Daddy, what are
you doing?"
his father replied "I'm beating
your mummy"
Akpos thought for a while, with a sad face
and said
"Mama, but what offence have you
committed again in this house to deserve so
much punishment?"
"Today alone, four different men have beaten
you.
First, it was the gate man Aliyu,
then
Idris our house boy,
that vendor that sold
Newspaper to dad also beat you and now
daddy.
WHY? Mama you must be stubborn
ooo!"
Akpos is is currently staying with his aunt
Sophie at the moment,
his dad is behind bars
for murder
and his mum's burial has been
fixed for next weekend
ONE WORD 4 AKPORS
Akpors took his new girlfriend home to meet
his parents...
His dad whispered to him:
"Where the hell
did you meet her"?
She's cross eyed, bald,
bow legged and she's got no teeth"!!!
Akpors replies: "There's no need to whisper
Dad, She's also deaf & dumb!!"
Dad fainted!!!
What will u do if u're the lady?
Lady lost three panties in her
house and blamed her maid
in front of her husband.
The maid said, "Sir, you are
my witness... you know I
never wear panties.
Describe them in one word
Mary and Gloria after an English exam.
Mary: How was your paper Gloria?
Gloria: It was kind of hard; I didn't know the past tense of 'think'. I thought and thought and
thought for a long time then finally wrote 'thunk'
Mary: I guess you're right because I wrote thunk after I thought 4 a while. ...
Mary: Shit! And what about the past tense of 'write'?
Gloria: I don’t know what I wrote; I think I wrote 'written'
Mary: That one I didn't even bother. When I saw the
next number asking for the past tense of 'go', I just went out of the Exam Hall.
Gloria: Me too, when I reached that number I couldn't take it anymore. Those idiots gave us an
exam beyond our scope....GBAM!!!
Who is the most foolish among these?
*A Kenyan man who watered his farmland in the rain.
*A Nigerian man who saw a ripe mango ñ climbed the tree to confirm then came down ñ used a stone to pluck it.
*A South African man saw something that looked like shit, he touched with his finger, tasted it ñ said "mmm damn this is shit
ooo! Thank God I haven't stepped on it":::::
*A Zimbabwean man who upon entering the bus with 15KG luggage decided to put
on his head so he wont pay for the cargo.
*A Rwandese who got drunk and boiled his IPhone.
*A Tanzanian wife who brushed her husbands shoes and put them in the fridge
*A Botswana Night Security guard who in the morning greeted the Boss like "Boss i had a beautyful dream...yawwwwn ..."
*A Somali man who had a dream that he was a chicken laying eggs only to wake up and find 1KG of shit in his bed with his wife
and mother in law standing at the door watching..
