GREAT QUOTES COLLECTION

AKPOR AND THE MOTHER
Akpos stumbled upon his parents in bed making love,

so he asked
"Daddy, what are you doing?"

his father replied "I'm beating your mummy"

Akpos thought for a while, with a sad face and said

"Mama, but what offence have you committed again in this house to deserve so much punishment?"

"Today alone, four different men have beaten you.

First, it was the gate man Aliyu,

then Idris our house boy,

that vendor that sold Newspaper to dad also beat you and now daddy.
WHY? Mama you must be stubborn ooo!"

Akpos is is currently staying with his aunt Sophie at the moment,

his dad is behind bars for murder

and his mum's burial has been fixed for next weekend

ONE WORD 4 AKPORS
Akpors took his new girlfriend home to meet his parents...

His dad whispered to him:

"Where the hell did you meet her"?

She's cross eyed, bald, bow legged and she's got no teeth"!!!

Akpors replies: "There's no need to whisper
Dad, She's also deaf & dumb!!" Dad fainted!!!

What will u do if u're the lady?
Lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of her husband.

The maid said, "Sir, you are my witness... you know I never wear panties.

Describe them in one word
Mary and Gloria after an English exam.

Mary: How was your paper Gloria?

Gloria: It was kind of hard; I didn't know the past tense of 'think'. I thought and thought and thought for a long time then finally wrote 'thunk'

Mary: I guess you're right because I wrote thunk after I thought 4 a while. ...

Mary: Shit! And what about the past tense of 'write'?

Gloria: I don’t know what I wrote; I think I wrote 'written'

Mary: That one I didn't even bother. When I saw the next number asking for the past tense of 'go', I just went out of the Exam Hall.

Gloria: Me too, when I reached that number I couldn't take it anymore. Those idiots gave us an exam beyond our scope....GBAM!!!

Who is the most foolish among these?
*A Kenyan man who watered his farmland in the rain.

*A Nigerian man who saw a ripe mango ñ climbed the tree to confirm then came down ñ used a stone to pluck it.

*A South African man saw something that looked like shit, he touched with his finger, tasted it ñ said "mmm damn this is shit ooo! Thank God I haven't stepped on it":::::

*A Zimbabwean man who upon entering the bus with 15KG luggage decided to put on his head so he wont pay for the cargo.

*A Rwandese who got drunk and boiled his IPhone.

*A Tanzanian wife who brushed her husbands shoes and put them in the fridge

*A Botswana Night Security guard who in the morning greeted the Boss like "Boss i had a beautyful dream...yawwwwn ..."

*A Somali man who had a dream that he was a chicken laying eggs only to wake up and find 1KG of shit in his bed with his wife and mother in law standing at the door watching..